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I wrote part of this entry in the summer of 2009.
I didn't gain the "Freshman 15" my first year of college, I lost it. I know I lost five pounds over that stressful summer, between a crazy road trip and a few crazy weeks of obtaining a summer job. Then there was college. I didn't know if I wanted to be there, and I was anxious and unsure of my footing. I had already lost a lot of my appetite due to stress. Then I got the stomach flu, and after that I was perpetually anxious and exhausted. Preoccupied with everything else, I didn't really notice how much weight I'd lost. In October of that year, the first cold wind blew, and I suddenly realized how insubstantial I felt. I could see my ribs, and it was harder to stay warm. When I visited my high school over winter break, one of my former teachers exclaimed, "Jennie, you're so thin!" It was more an expression of concern than a compliment.
It took me at least two years to regain the weight I'd lost. By the end of college, my metabolism had settled. For the first time in my life, I had to make sure I didn't gain too much weight. During my block of free time in Albuquerque before my first AmeriCorps term, I ran in the mornings and made sure I didn't snack compulsively. The weight I lost during AmeriCorps was partly due to stress, partly due to physical exertion. I landed back in Albuquerque a size smaller than the previous year.
I maintained my weight until the summer my first boyfriend and I broke up. Amazingly, I only lost a few pounds then. I gained it back, and then some, in the fall and winter of that year. In June 0f 2008, I joined a gym and vowed to exercise and eat well. I have generally had healthy food my entire life, but I watched my portions more. Since then, I have gained more muscle and lost weight. I'm not sure how many actual pounds, since I only weigh myself occasionally, but I feel better and look better. I doubt I will ever be skinny again, but I will certainly settle for strong and curvy.
I don't count calories. If I did, I'd get compulsive and (likely) unpleasant. That would certainly drive Luke - my current partner - crazy. I do occasionally look at the nutrition facts to make sure that I'm not eating something horrible, but that's all I'll do.
I never want to feel like I did my first year of college - fragile and like the wind could blow me away. There are still times where I lose my appetite due to stress, but I try to stay as balanced as possible. My current yoga practice has not only made me stronger, but also calmer, and I'm sure this helps. It's hard, sometimes, not to think that I have to work harder to look a certain way. But I feel stronger than ever, mentally and physically, and that's what matters most.
I didn't gain the "Freshman 15" my first year of college, I lost it. I know I lost five pounds over that stressful summer, between a crazy road trip and a few crazy weeks of obtaining a summer job. Then there was college. I didn't know if I wanted to be there, and I was anxious and unsure of my footing. I had already lost a lot of my appetite due to stress. Then I got the stomach flu, and after that I was perpetually anxious and exhausted. Preoccupied with everything else, I didn't really notice how much weight I'd lost. In October of that year, the first cold wind blew, and I suddenly realized how insubstantial I felt. I could see my ribs, and it was harder to stay warm. When I visited my high school over winter break, one of my former teachers exclaimed, "Jennie, you're so thin!" It was more an expression of concern than a compliment.
It took me at least two years to regain the weight I'd lost. By the end of college, my metabolism had settled. For the first time in my life, I had to make sure I didn't gain too much weight. During my block of free time in Albuquerque before my first AmeriCorps term, I ran in the mornings and made sure I didn't snack compulsively. The weight I lost during AmeriCorps was partly due to stress, partly due to physical exertion. I landed back in Albuquerque a size smaller than the previous year.
I maintained my weight until the summer my first boyfriend and I broke up. Amazingly, I only lost a few pounds then. I gained it back, and then some, in the fall and winter of that year. In June 0f 2008, I joined a gym and vowed to exercise and eat well. I have generally had healthy food my entire life, but I watched my portions more. Since then, I have gained more muscle and lost weight. I'm not sure how many actual pounds, since I only weigh myself occasionally, but I feel better and look better. I doubt I will ever be skinny again, but I will certainly settle for strong and curvy.
I don't count calories. If I did, I'd get compulsive and (likely) unpleasant. That would certainly drive Luke - my current partner - crazy. I do occasionally look at the nutrition facts to make sure that I'm not eating something horrible, but that's all I'll do.
I never want to feel like I did my first year of college - fragile and like the wind could blow me away. There are still times where I lose my appetite due to stress, but I try to stay as balanced as possible. My current yoga practice has not only made me stronger, but also calmer, and I'm sure this helps. It's hard, sometimes, not to think that I have to work harder to look a certain way. But I feel stronger than ever, mentally and physically, and that's what matters most.
